TRAVEL

542114_315530335229630_1549859072_n“Each of us feels some aspect of the world’s suffering acutely. And we must pay attention. We must act. This little corner of the world is ours to transform. This little corner of the world is ours to save.” – Stephen Cope, The Great Work of Your Life.

In my freshman year of college, I founded a non-profit to revolutionize science and technology participation among youths in Africa. I was young and I wanted to change the world. My parents begged of me to face my education and I slowly parked that dream for sometime in my future. Since then I have worked for various Fortune 100 companies, and currently climbing the corporate ladder but when I look back at my younger self 7 years ago, I know that I truly come alive when I know that I am working for a greater purpose. I know that my calling is to be a social entrepreneur and so I have decided to do something about it. I have this crazy idea in my head that I can change the world of women and work.

My focus in the last five years as a blogger has being solely on enabling and empowering the next generation of women to become active economic agents. In the next decade, about one billion women are poised to enter the global economy. 97% of these women are in developing and emerging economies. The impact of women in the global economy – as producers, entrepreneurs, employees and consumers – will be at least as significant as that of China’s and India’s respective one-billion-plus populations. Tapping into women’s economic potential would be equivalent to having an additional one billion individuals contributing to the global economy and stimulating growth. These phenomenon was detailed in studies conducted by Ernst & Young, Booz & Co, and McKinsey & Company, and it is appropriately named the “Third Billion Effect”.   Research shows that economically empowering women is not only good for the women; it is also good for the societies they live in, as well as the next generation. It’s a multiplier effect for their family and society. Women are more likely to save money for the children’s college, a strategy that also increases literacy and strengthens their local economies.

Becoming a social entrepreneur is different from your typical entrepreneur. For us, purpose is greater than profit and we are in it to discover, disrupt, and drive innovation. The positive impact is how we measure success and profit generally flows in because we get people to join us on this crazy journey of changing the world. In today’s world, generosity is the next frontier – people will pay more to make real impact. As a result, social entrepreneurs are more interested in understanding the social, economic, political, and cultural context of the problems they are trying to solve than traditional entrepreneurs are. We care about making money, but we focus equally on solving the problem. And that is what makes us very successful, because we are analytical enough to create a business model based on research, evidence and data yet we are idealist enough to think we can change the world. If you lack these characteristics, you are not changing the world.

And then there is perspective. Some of us have experienced these problems first hand, hence the passion and resilience is there to give ourselves to the service of others even when it hurts. At the age of seventeen, I left the shores of West Africa to study in the United States. I did that because I wanted to escape patriarchy, the agony of being a female, and the painful evenings spent in the kitchen. I knew that wasn’t the life I wanted and I worked hard to get myself out of the ‘dungeon’ like me and my siblings now joke about. In so many ways, my journey to become a social entrepreneur comes from my leadership abilities and confidence combined with my background as a woman who grew up in a developing nation. This culminated into a lofty dream of empowering women to boldly follow their dreams, achieve financial freedom and consequently strengthen their local economies.

Want to be a social entrepreneur? Find something you believe in. Choose your little corner of the world that is worth saving. 

 

 

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One Resolution to Be Happy

by ThinkFeminist on December 28, 2012

Challenges & Solutions #leadership bitches #blogher12 @deanna“If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon

What I had planned out to do heading into the new year was a ‘vision board’. I was going to head to home depot and get myself a matte whiteboard, some magazines from a bookstore, glue, pictures where I look happy and chart out plans for the year. Until Christmas came along when my day started so lovely and ended with me sobbing on a friend’s couch. I am normally not a resolution freak, I focus mostly on creating solutions because resolutions are calendar-driven, addresses symptoms such as weight-loss, financial stability, etc. , everything else that when achieved may not necessarily lead to happiness  I realized that I needed a few resolutions that offer breakthrough in my innermost self or it will never matter what I put on my vision board.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The new year always seems like a new beginning to me, a fresh start, a great time to change some habits that are slowly eating away the wonderful person we were bound to be. So, I will share bits and pieces of my resolutions with you, because I want some accountability, I want to come back here every now and then to reflect on my promises to myself. There are so many people that give up on resolutions, that psychologists are starting to refer to it as a pointless exercise. I don’t want this resolution to be that. My resolution is about being happy, it’s the foundation that leads me on the amazing journey of achieving my goals.

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.” ~Denis Waitley

First, I realize that 2012 was the most unhappy, unfufilling, unproductive I have ever been my entire adult life. And I don’t know about you, but what is it that makes people unhappy? Why do I start my day feeling excited, positive and energized but end it flat and uninspired or even sometimes furious and angry. In engineering, I took an extensive course called Root Cause Failure Analysis. It’s an investigative technique that allows you to dig deep until you find factors, triggers and conditions that initiate failures. I decided to bring that same exercise into my own personal life and after spending the entire night on my notepad, I came up with this top reasons for my unhappiness. Yours may be different and it may be very well similar to mine, but the crux of this technique is to face squarely our subconscious.  I realized that my unhappiness stems from these things and I read about people that have gone through similar feelings, listed here as well.

Top Reasons for My Unhappiness

  • I can’t stop dwelling on the past, I obsess about everything that went wrong in my childhood, my marriage, my life. “What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.”  ~Buddha
  • I feel lonely and dissatisfied with how I’m spending my time and the impact I’m making on the world. “I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~ Hafiz of Shiraz
  • I feel like I am not living up to my truest potential as I start losing hope. “Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~ Unknown
  • I expect and find the worst in people these days. It’s my way of shielding myself from getting hurt. I tell myself, paddle your own canoe Blessing! You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.” -~ Frank Cane
  • I feel like I am not enough and so many people expect so much from me and I never seem to be able to offer ALL that they want. “Always concentrate on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have left to go.” ~ Unknown
  • I turn myself into a victim or a martyr, blaming everyone else. “Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.” ~ Dhammapada
  • I spiral into negative thinking, at one point, I thought I was dying soon, so I wrote a will. ”Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~ Norman Cousin
  • I assume that life should be perfect and all these things shouldn’t happen to me. “Perfectionism is the enemy of creation, as extreme self-solitude is the enemy of well-being.” John Updike
  • I stopped praying for a long time and now it’s hard to get back into it. “The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

After this gruesome exercise which I am still uncomfortable about, I decided to make these happiness resolutions.

  • Let go of the past: It’s easy to forget my past when things are peachy and I am sipping wine, but as soon as I put my daughter to bed, I revert back to feeling dejected. What I truly will do is focus on the future, which is so promising and not worth the damages of this dangerous state. ”Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~ Thich Naht Hahn
  • Family Walks: The only way to combat loneliness is to act. I already do so much, so why do I feel lonely? I think it’s not the loneliness, it’s what I do when I am alone. I think too deep, I spiral into negative talks. So, I have decided to start doing more to fill voids in my life. Evening walks are the perfect way to end a perfect day. I will get to discover myself more and bond even better with my daughter “If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” -Maxwell Maltz & “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
  • Giving: I plan on focusing more on helping my siblings this year. I also want to volunteer more in my community. I have brilliant ideas that could change the community I live in right now, but I am buried deeply in my own problems instead of seeing how useful I could be for other people. “When deeds and words are in accord, the whole world is transformed.” ~ Chuang Tzu
  • Travel & Adventure: I didn’t do much of that this year. In 2013, I want to travel to some parts of Asia and Africa. I want to immerse myself in cultures that promote healthy lifestyles and spirituality. I want to pursue happiness in a whole new way. It’s going to be hard finding the time in my schedule and money to finance it all, but nothing is truly impossible.
  • Sports: I started running this year, it felt more like running away from my troubles and fears. In 2013, I want to run and truly enjoy the beautiful community I live in. I want to run in all kinds of weather – snow, rain, sunshine – to fully appreciate nature and all that God has to offer. I have registered for a few half marathons as well. I am so excited. Yoga is also a good practice I picked up, and I love that it strengthens my core, balances my mind, and focuses my attention, its the perfect recipe for a wholesome life.
  • Doing: I looked through my notepad, and I have down brilliant ideas that could change the way we interact in the community, kid’s lives, empower women, and transform the world we live in. I really need to act on these ideas. “Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake.” ~ Francis Bacon Sr.
  • Cooking: I noticed that I am at my happiest when I cook. So, I want to spend more time cooking for my loved ones. My daughter especially who continues to inspire me and help me in the kitchen. I almost want to say that I would not be eating out, but I know I will every now and then when I run out of time.

In the end, I am not setting any lofty goals, but simple actions that will free up my mind and empower me to become a better person “Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs  

Life is challenging, but I am not giving up. I know that 2013 holds so much promise for me and my daughter, siblings, family and loved ones. And I want to be part of that positive experience and not a stumbling block. Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.

 I hope that you learned a few things from my resolutions. And I truly hope for everyone that you will happier in 2013.

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A Place You Must Visit: Las Vegas, NV

by ThinkFeminist on November 17, 2012

Earlier this year, my girlfriends and I decided to take a trip to Las Vegas. We knew this would be a challenge since we were all busy moms with toddlers (yes, all of our kids!), and the men also had full-time jobs and may not be looking forward to being stuck home alone with toddlers while Mom is thousands of miles away from home. But somehow, we were able to pull things off! It started with just an impulsive move to buy the tickets, and somehow find a way to get there. As the days drew nearer, so many things were happening to the point where we considered cancelling the trip but the tickets were of steep prices, and we didn’t think it was worth it to do away with that much money, plus we really thought this may be what we all needed to calm our nerves, and renew our spirits. So, we booked the hotel (Treasure Island Hotel on the strip) and off we went! It was the best decision we ever made. Life in Vegas really does live up to its expectations!

Here are few things we did:

Remembering the Absinthe show in Vegas, this guy was crazy
Absinthe:  I mean, this show is literary the best show in Vegas. It’s what I love about Vegas, you can get the best theater performances right there in one city, only feets away from you. Absinthe is a combination of Cirque Du Soleil, outlandish comedy, erotic talks, outrageous performers, I mean, it is state of the art! I better stop here, so you can check out the reviews below

If you see one show in your entire life, make it Absinthe!” – Huffington Post

“Imagine Cirque du Soleil as channeled through”Rocky Horror Picture Show” and painted by George Grosz. A blend of skill, erotic innuendo and zaniness. The memorable momens make a jaded audience literally gasp.” - The New York Times

Voted Best new Show Las Vegas Weekly

“It’s BRILLIANT. I’m going to put that in caps when I write this down. It’s BRILLIANT! It reminded me of what’s great about Vegas.” 
HuffingtonPost.com

“Naugthy and nice, exotic and erotic, wild and wacky Absinthe!”  Robin Leach’s Vegas Luxe Life

Zip Lining at Bootleg Canyon: This is not something you would think is popular in Vegas, but this third longest zipline in North America is. We called ahead to book our tickets, and had a shuttle pick us up from one of the hotel on the strip, Excalibur to be exact. It was definitely an experience. It was my first time ziplining and I had so much fun doing it! We soared over mountains, deserts, and valleys. There also was one of the best views you could ever find in the world overlooking the Mojave desert, Eldorado Valley, Las Vegas, Boulder City and Lake Mead. One many occasions  I felt like I was on top of the world! The staffs were also very pleasant and made the entire two and half trip fun-filled! If you love mountain hiking and biking, this is a must-do.

Zip lining over mountains, valleys, mountain bikers! Four times!!! I loved it!
Bootleg Canyon. #vegas. Mountain hike, 2mile zip lining with my ladies @frostkp3
Window Shopping: There were lots of high end stores to shop like Gucci, Giorgio Armani, Louis Vuitton, Channel, etc. Although we couldn’t afford most of the items,we did look around a bit and my girlfriends had also done some shopping earlier at much moderate stores I hope.. It was also a fun trip for us ladies as we spent time scrutinizing different designs and laughed out loud at some of the obscene prices, like yeah, I would totally buy a $5,000 sunglasses!

Fine Dining – Fogo De Chao: After ziplining, we got really hungry, so I yelled PF Changs because I was familiar with how huge  their fried rice is, and I could totally live on that anywhere in the world. But, as the Taxi driver took us out of the strip and into a more downtown-ish area of Vegas, we saw Fogo De Chao, a brazillian steakhouse, or to put it mildly, the home of real steak! The view from the outside was breathtaking! As we walked in, we were greeted by their wonderful staffs and as we took a seat, we felt like we had just won a jackpot. The dining area was upscale and their buffet area is the best I have ever seen. The catch is that you get any side dish or salad you want from the buffet and when you are ready for some steak, you turn your card placed on your table green for some steak. They had sixteen different kinds of steak and you can get all of them if you so choose. As soon as your card go green, able-bodied men carrying steak approach you with juicy tender steak of different variety, and of course you could get it rare, medium or well-done. I had some Fillet Mignon, Beef Ribs, Top Sirloin, Bottom Sirloin, Rib Eye and lots more. I have never been so full my entire life. This restaurant is on the top of my list, one of the best restaurants in the country for sure. They have various locations, so on my many business travels, I will be sure to check them out.

Best Steakhouse ever, hands down (Brazillian Steakhouse. Foco De Chao). 16 different steak in one night!!! Just amazing #restaurant #vegas

Nightlife: Of course! What’s the point of going to Vegas without experiencing the nightlife? The nightlife is unrivaled. We first started with the Casinos where we gambled some money and got some courtesy wine as we kissed our hard earned money goodbye. My friend won about $12, but we were eager to get out to the clubs, so we hurried off and went to The Bank inside the Bellagio. This club is a favorite for me, I visited with a group of college friends in 2006 I believe.  We had a few drinks, and danced till we were sore. It was the perfect evening for us. I highly recommend this club.

…….There are definitely tons more stuff to do in Vegas like visiting the spa which my girlfriends did, and of course there is the Bellagio Waterfalls, the Volcanoes at The Mirage hotel just blocks away from us. Caesars Palace was also one of my favorite hotel, I will make it a point to stay there next time I visit Vegas. So far, I have stayed at the Flamingo and Treasure Island hotel. I wish to stay at The Bellagio, Caesars Palace and the Excalibur my next visits to Vegas. It’s a once in a lifetime experience for sure, and I am so grateful to be able to do this with my best friends. It was really worth the trip, and I had an amazing time. To be honest, I have felt stronger, happier and more relaxed since my return. It was exactly what I needed.

Getting some food to power up for tonight #vivalasvegas #vegas #zumanity

 

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Bloom Where You are Planted

by ThinkFeminist on September 2, 2012

It’s been a fun weekend so far. Matter of fact, I have decided, this may be my funnest weekend in the state of Ohio so far! I am known for escaping to other states to have fun, but there is a saying that I have heard so many times and I decided to apply this weekend ‘bloom where you are planted’.

I love wine, I really do. I love wine so much, I went on a trip to Napa Valley last year to visit hundreds of wineries. So, I decided to check out some of the wineries around Akron/Canton area. We settled on Gervasi, a vineyard so beautiful, it took our breath away as we walked in.

At the entrance to the Gerson Vineyard Italian bistro

Happy Long Summer Weekend from the Gervarsi Vineyard =)

Seeing that my toddler wasn’t conforming, we decided to forgo the wine tour and relax at the Piazza by the lake. It was the most relaxing and comforting thing I had done in a long time. I should note here that we were the only black people among hundreds of white……not sure but it may have to do with the fact that black people just aren’t into these kinds of activities.

Very busy with cornhole at the Vineyard Bistro overlooking the lake.

These two fed the fish, played cornhole, bowled on the sand and did some car racing (toy cars of cos!) Fun day for her <3!

Gervasi Vineyard is the perfect spot for weddings, celebrations, and/or getaways. We decided to grab a quick lunch at the Piazza. Camille settled on the Summer Pizza with some heirloom tomatoes, basil, mozarella and garlic oil. My sister and I ordered the Chicken Salad which was sumptuous with pecans, nuts, chicken and some assorted fruits.

Summer pizza at the Gervarsi Vineyard piazza. Yum!

Image created with Photo fx

Overall, it was a nice summer day and we left feeling all colorful, bright and overwhelmed with warmness. If you ever go through Canton, feel free to stop by!

The only women in my life who know me more than I know myself. Heart. Full.

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Akin, Limbaugh & GOP’s Obsessive Control over Women

by ThinkFeminist on August 21, 2012

source

Todd Akin wants me to tell a friend who just got raped that if she gets pregnant, it’s her fault and therefore deem the rape a ‘legitimate’ one, call her a slut for allowing her brain to produce hormones that induced the subsequent fertilization. And guess what, suck it up, that unborn baby is a gift from God, so therefore do not even attempt to think otherwise!

Let me be clear, I am FOR children. I have a daughter that was conceived in love and I would hate to even think about it if she was conceived as a result of rape. Todd Akin’s statememt that a woman cannot get pregnant as a result of legitimate rape is beyond me! It undermines women and our role in the society. Is there even a classification for rape? Since we are now classifiying rape, how about we classify zygote, embryo and fetus and baby for the GOP? No, I am not an abortion activist, nor a doctor but I am tired of our leaders slicing and dicing rape like its something to be proud of. Obvs, if you don’t want kids, protect yourself. But telling a woman that she got pregnant because she actually asked for or deserved to be raped is an insult to women, to this generation, and very petty of Todd Akin and the GOP who are openly chastising Todd for election purposes. The GOP should not only call for Todd Akin to step down but also give the WHY! 

What I am even more sick of are the Republicans running their mouths when it comes to women issues. Since when does a group of men in government sit down to decide what’s best for a woman’s body? Or how do men who never get pregnant understand what goes on in a woman who got raped and got pregnant with no means of supporting herself or the unborn child? What kills me further is that we are just now recovering from Rush Limbaugh’s offensive statement where he called Ms. Sandra Fluke and women who need contraceptives a prostitute. Women have been thrown around like a piece of rag in this country, that I sometimes wonder if somehow America is slowly re-tracting back into the dark ages. Are women supposed to be submissive slaves/properties of men and thus have no reproductive rights? Because if not, why would anyone even come up with a bill effectively named the ‘Blunt Amendment’, that would have allowed not only religious groups but any employer with moral objections to opt out of the coverage requirement. And it would have allowed such employers to do so in the case of not only contraception but any health service required by health-care law.

It seems to me that this is not an Akin problem, this is a huge GOP problem. If the GOP thinks that they can get away with making silly comments regarding women, passing bills left, right and center on reproductive rights which is clearly mostly a woman’s issue, then they are not ready to run this country . Perhaps women should be at the helm of government if the most pressing issues are our reproductive system. We refuse to allow such insolence. We refuse to be disrespected this way or raise sons and daughters who have no control or right over their own body.

On thesame note, my message to Todd Akin is that he steps down. Further videos or comments concerning his previous rape statement are equally demeaning. His latest statement that ”There are great people, a songwriter from Missouri and others, who are products of rape.” leaves even a saltier taste to the mouth. Are we now justifying rape? Really? It has come to that? If the GOP is looking to redefine rape, the place of women in this country and the fate of our children, then it is time to come forward. Sneaking bills & amendments related to personhood & rape justification into our constitution is very petty. And we refuse to stand with such leadership! How about we tackle the source of the problem eh! How about we start bringing men who rape women to justice for real? How about we start educating men around the implications of rape and pass bills that protect such insolence?

President Obama put it in better words, so I will just quote him instead…

“Let me first say the views expressed were offensive,” Obama said. “Rape is rape, and the idea that we should be parsing and qualifying and slicing what types of rape we’re talking about doesn’t make sense to the American people and certainly doesn’t make sense to me.” [...] “What I think these comments do underscore is why we shouldn’t have a bunch of politicians, a majority of whom are men, making health care decisions on behalf of women,” Obama said. “So although these particular comments have led Gov. Romney and other Republicans to distance themselves, I think that the underlying notion that we should be making decisions on behalf of women … or qualifying forcible rape versus non-forcible rape are broader issues.”

Also, its time to focus on some real economic and policy issues and stop debating rape because we are actually not the one running around crying foul here. Akin needs to call it quits, we are just fine carrying some pepper spray and a sharp knife when walking around that deserted dark road while looking behind our backs. 

 What are your thoughts around Akin’s statement?

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On Crushin’

by ThinkFeminist on August 18, 2012

Rocking these #aviator shades to my dessert cruise! Let's go I feel bad that I am not writing more about some business idea I have or how to help you get your ideas going, etc. But honestly, I tried. I tried coming up with some really deep content for you all but none of it is sticking right now. Why? There is so much out there about business, relationships, science, technology, parenting that I honestly don’t need to be coming up with anything serious unless I have done some crazy interesting research and we all know that I haven’t, cos obvs, I have a full-time job, a toddler, and a car, yes cars are some serious responsibility. I recently calculated that I spent 10hours total on car repairs and maintenance in the last month. Yeah, some serious BS!

I’ve previously used this blog to explain my new found relationship status. Honestly folks, its tough out there. I am not sure why people get out of a secure relationship to shop for new ones, its very counterintuitive. It’s the same way companies let a good employee go when they find a candidate that promises to freeze hell over, but forget that re-hiring and re-training new employees who may end up doing less than the previous employee cost money + time, I know, nuts! Its worse in relationships, as we all basically hope that what we cannot fix in the previous partner, we can find ready-made in the new one. What people and companies alike forget is that, they must first fix themselves.

Anyways, I am currently treading lightly in the dating department, to be clear, I am not seeing anyone (don’t be stupid, I see people all the time). I rephrase, I am not dating anyone. I am however crushing on one or well, maybe two if you count that I recently texted this one guy back because, I thought he was cute and his blue eyes are apparently damaging my prefrontal cortex as I completely melt when I gaze into them. He is actually not my type, but there is something about receiving really romantic text messages on a friday night after a crazy work week that gives my intestines the joys of doing some backflips and gets my oxytocin levels high enough to the point where I am texting back happily, hi there!

Crushin’ is a good thing, matter of fact a great thing! Its similar to an internship before you get a real job. It’s very possible that you end up in a relationship with someone you are crushin’ on but I know better! Once the crushin’ is over, we are all back to basics again. After all, how do you stay crushin’ on someone, when you just picked up this guy’s dirty drawers and sniffed the repugnant thing *deep sigh*, or caught a ooze of that nasty smell as that chick takes the biggest dump in the world. Now multiply this by one million times if you are living with him/her, ha! Plus don’t forget to add those early morning bad breaths that we all become subjected to (just keeping it real here guys). Yes, I will take a pass on that please. I may or may not get married anymore guys, shit really gets old! Crushin’ becomes Cursin’ as you silently whisper ‘fuck’ under your breath as you spray the toilet with leftover febreeze.

Crushin’ I have decided is a passing state that traps people into a sub-standard relationship & seeing that I have to get serious about life here, I need to treat this whole crushin’ philosophy as lightly as possible. Which means, I will be asking Mr. Blue Eyes and any other guy I encounter lots of questions and getting to know more details around career, goals, philosophy, parenting, etc. before even allowing my subconscious process any trace of crushin’.

I am currently responding to text msgs as I so please, and i’ve only gone on couple date activities, other than that, I am pushing the ‘neutral’ button when it comes to the crushin’/love-at-first-sight thing. People and corporation make this mistake all the time. Crushin’ is just a thing, just like anything else, it goes away and sooner or later you have to make a decision whether to deal with the person’s bullshit or not!

What are you currently crushin’ on?

 

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Why Marriage is not the Path to Fabulous

August 10, 2012

 I don’t think I have made it public yet, but well, you should know that I am closing the last chapter on my marriage or better yet, my soon to be ex-husband tossed our 4-year marriage into some random garbage can. The time and location are unknown but it happened sometime in the last 14months [...]

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