2013: The Fearless Project

by ThinkFeminist on January 11, 2013

Burst of neon and self-illuminating brilliance tonight with my green juice and Seth Godin's 'The Icarus Deception' How high can you fly? He argues that 'Art is frightening' - The challenge of our time is to find a journey worthy of your heart and your sou

Art isn’t the result; its a journey. The challenge of our time is to find a journey worthy of your heart and your soul.   – Seth Godin, The Icarus Deception

I have poured myself into a journey of self discovery and I have read so many books in the last year that has caused me to cry, laugh, scared me, inspired me, and truly make me come alive. All of these books were dedicated to causes, such as helping people grow, develop, and brilliantly exceed expectations. I love to inspire others, I love to create but it scares the shit out of me. The last couple years have been hard. It’s seen me through working my way through college as an international student in a top public university all by myself, talk about crazy work hours, endless nights of studying, multiple internships and all sort of hustling that would make anyone tougher and stronger than they could ever imagine. During these times, I also started a nonprofit organization, organized conferences for national organizations like the Society for Women Engineers & National Society of Black Engineers. I poured my heart and soul into every single second of my life in college.  I also became pregnant my junior year of college, but didn’t stop there! I got married, had a beautiful baby, didn’t take time off of school, not even for a day, went straight back to hustling and finally graduated magna cum laude with a degree in Chemical Engineering. I landed a job with a fortune 500 company and you would think I would be the #1 person to kick fear in the ass! See, I love to write, I love to help women, I love to empower people around me. You can tell by my other blog Working Mom Journal, where my goal is to help women across America flex their confidence muscle in the workplace while living their best life possible at home. I started a Women’s Network in my company and the results after 9-months of it’s inception have been ground-breaking. It’s hard to believe that I am scared.

And you may ask, what and why am I scared of? I will then ask you to take a seat.

I am shaking with fear of The Unknown

I come from a huge family, with 6 siblings in Africa, and I am the only one responsible for their well-being. And I choose to stand by my siblings through thick and thin, it’s always been my goal. However, this decision has paralyzed my plan to venture out on my journey to start a start-up or soak myself into the goal of empowering and enabling women because I enjoy the steady paycheck that allows me to help my loved ones including my daughter. Although, I am certain that it will be my greatest joy when they all succeed and get to live out their dreams.

I don’t know Where to Start

I know that there are so many tools available for entrepreneurs in the start-up world like Indiegogo, KickStarter, etc., but the process of starting something this intense and one that could affect so many seems daunting. I know nothing about coding. I know nothing about finding a software developer or a co-founder that is passionate about things that I am passionate about which is empowering women of all ages and races, leadership, and career growth. All of this leaves me restless and sleepless at night, trust me.

Why I Must Act

But this year, I know and believe strongly in my heart that I must act. I know that it will be tough, but if I truly want to be happy, if I truly want to live to my fullest potential, if I truly want to give my best, then I must find a way. Which is why, I am declaring this to the world. This year, I am turning 27 and none of it will be boring. It will not be without it’s challenges, but this is the year that I put in so much energy, intensity and follow my heart deeply. My career as an engineer is great, but I want to be more, I want to do more, I want to touch and effect lives. That is who I am. So, I am calling this The Fearless Project. Which details my journey of creating a start-up, an art, something that matters to me, to everyone.

And I know that, just saying it will not get me there, so I am committing myself to blog every day of the week on what I have accomplished so far in my journey.

I also want to live my some guiding principles, I want to meet people in places such as WDS, Big Omaha, Women 2.0, and SXSW. I want to meet people like Chris Guillebeau, Marie Forleo, Danielle LaPorte, Alexandra Franzen, I want to step out of my own thoughts and deepen my art – empowering women. In order to do this, I am embarking on a plan to cut my expenses, spending, etc., so I can afford to help my family, do these things I am passionate about on the side but with some serious devotion.

 What are you scared of starting? And how do you want to combat those fears?

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Denise January 11, 2013 at 6:06 am

Wow, I like what you’re up to over here. There’s so many resources available for us to “start” but it can be overwhelming. And sometimes when I figure out the how, I question the what and the why. It’s crazy. Most of my fears are money related because I have kids. Combating them? I don’t really have an answer there.

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ThinkFeminist January 15, 2013 at 1:50 pm

Denise, we all dont have the answer and unfortunately most of my fears are also out of lack of money which is limiting my true purpose. I feel boxed in because I can’t just quit my job and pursue my true goals. It really sucks.

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Carla January 12, 2013 at 8:53 pm

I’ve been there. I am there. I started college with a child, trying to pursue a degree in Computer Science. And when I had finally balanced everything, there I was.. pregnant again. And my second pregnancy really took a toll on me because I didn’t have much help from his father. He wasn’t working at all and didn’t even want to watch him when I was going to return to school. And that resulted in me returning to school a week after I had given birth, just for income. I was scared. Terrified. But I had to do what I had to do.

Now, I’m working on my Master’s and I’m discovering more and more people like you, like me, who are so goal oriented and successful that it’s scary. And even after getting my Bachelor’s, I’m still afraid. Even after doing well my first semester of graduate school, I am afraid. But I do feel that if I just keep going, I am going to push through that fear. Just like I always do.

Thank you for this post. (:

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ThinkFeminist January 15, 2013 at 1:51 pm

Oh wow Carla, you are such a remarkable woman! I feel like our journey is similar and dont be afraid, we will get through this together! We will push through and we will succeed! Thanks for coming back, reading and commenting!

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Kimberly January 15, 2013 at 11:10 pm

I can so totally relate to this post! I think my biggest fear is failing others and as much as I am so content and confident with myself I do feel as if I will only be what others want me to be if I don’t succeed in life. Not to say that people are waiting for me to fail, but I do feel like I’m not taken seriously much. So I need to let go of the fear of failing and unleash all that I have to offer!

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ThinkFeminist January 16, 2013 at 9:36 am

Kimberly, you are absolutely right. The key to failing is trying to please others….don’t let the noise of others drown your dreams or blur your vision. Its not going to be easy, but it will be freeing and worth it. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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