I don’t think I have made it public yet, but well, you should know that I am closing the last chapter on my marriage or better yet, my soon to be ex-husband tossed our 4-year marriage into some random garbage can. The time and location are unknown but it happened sometime in the last 14months when he found some insecure college girl. The full story is actually very sad, so I will spare you all the very emotional-wrecking details of it all. Opting to date a married man who is insecure in his own home/family and claiming to seek respite from his own life is never an avenue that leads to happy ever after, just saying! I could just picture him reciting his endless monologues about the humongous misery and mundanity of his home/life to the vulnerable thing. Seriously, what good can come out of this?
Anyways. I just turned 26 and I feel even more fabulous, confident, strong, empowered, beautiful, fit, content and plus other ah-mazing words you can find in the dictionary! I haven’t felt that way in a long time because I was so pre-occupied with playing wife, mom, caregiver and climbing the corporate ladder. Obviously, you can tell I married at a young age, and so believe when I tell you that this shit is not for the faint-hearted, and not as fulfilling as it sounds plus it takes a clusterfuck of hard work. It’s not exactly as beautiful as the media and other seemingly happy couple have portrayed it to be. Honestly, I feel sorry for people that go all the way to make up some amazing story about their hot, rich, helpful and sweet husband, who picks the kids up from school, cleans the house, does the laundry, pays the bill, takes the garbage out, cleans up after himself, put the kids to sleep, offers foot massage and so on…..Oh please! That shit is not true. If your life is so amazing, you won’t need to broadcast it. I am guilty of this, just check my facebook page and you will find my amazing hot life with my sexy husband and beautiful daughter. He even accused me multiple times of making our life look so fabulous on facebook, who does that? We did go on those vacations, buy some expensive things and had fun, how is that not fabuous? Well it isn’t when you have to pretty much purchase a first-class ticket from Atlanta to Va.Beach so he can make it on-time (from a party I begged him not to attend) in order to leave on-time for a flight to (vacation spot in) San-Francisco, smh.
And oh, forgive me if I am male-bashing, obvs that is not the point of this post. Although, I will not promise you that I will never confront patriarchal bullshit ever! Most of these shit I have experienced first-hand, but that is something we can discuss some other time.
This blog post is mostly for my friends who think that they should be dating seriously and keep their eyes wide open for Mr. Right in their twenties ….y’all are so wrong! Please work hard, get a career/business going, fuck more, sleep more, travel more, see the world! You don’t get to do that with Mr. Right. With Mr. Right, you get to have babies, big heavy boobs that sag after torturous months of breastfeeding, clean poop, buy groceries, cook in all kinds of weather, and graciously give a blow job when you are on your period. It’s totally damaging! Looking back, I felt like I wasted my youth. The only good thing that came out of this marriage is my amazing daughter. I would not trade her for anything in the world and in all honesty she is the #1 reason why I put up with her father’s multiple BS. I love her, I do really do…..but I am done having kids for reasons I will touch on later in other posts. I do love kids; mine, my friends kids, and every child on this planet. I just needed to put that out there before those of you that are parents start drawing blood.
The crazy thing about marrying young and possibly marrying someone young is that, that man is not exactly ready for companionship, commitment or even kids. What he wants is everyday fucking, your hot body, & also the ability to hang out with his friends for as long as he wants. So ladies, hold off on that hot guy that is about to get on his knees because chances are, he will marry you and get tired of seeing your sagging behind everyday, cleaning poop, carrying the garbage out and having to answer to you every time he does something wrong. None of this is worth it! You can instead have some fun, build a career, stay fit and fabulous and have a whole lot of sex. How long should you stay unmarried? Hold off until you are old enough to snag someone with years of experience, some deep bank account, a higher level of sophistication and one who is longing for companionship and commitment. See how this can make your entire life fabulous? Ok, try it.
Like everything else though, nothing is guaranteed but overall, don’t rush into marriage, its not as fabulous as it sounds. It’s companionship for folks that are too tired living life alone. It’s not for women who want to have fun, live a fulfilling life and have a crazy hot career.